Attachment: Health or Suffering?

I have been thinking a great deal about what attachment is and whether it is "good" or "bad." In Western developmental psychology, we learn that in order for an infant to develop basic trust in his/her world and feel a sense of safety, he/she must develop a healthy attachment with his/her mother or some similar figure. The first thing that stands out to me is this notion of "healthy attachment," after years of studying Buddhism, I am trying to make sense of it all. Is there such a thing as healthy attachment? For that matter, is there such a thing as unhealthy attachment? What is attachment anyway? Is it a physical need? A chemical need? A biochemical dependence? Does a newborn infant need to develop an addiction to mom in order to be deemed healthy? Or is this health once again a Western concept completely wrapped up in the notion that "an individual" needs to develop a healthy, concrete, solid ego, in order to function "normally."

Then a few decades pass and infant has passed through toddler-hood, pre-pubescence, teenage-hood, and slowly makes their way into adulthood. As they make these transitions, health is signified by the ability to no longer be so attached, to break away, and to stand on ones own two feet. I am starting to wonder if we, in Western psychological understanding, all haven't been duped with a bunch of double messages. Now you reach adulthood, you are married, in intimate relationship, and you are working with two seemingly opposing models of how to be in the world and in relationship: you want to feed your healthy attachment/addiction? and you want to break away and be independent. No wonder that we have so many people that don't know how to function in relationship. Well that's a start....then throw in the idea or feeling of love and things get even more complicated....any ideas?